Lessons are always humbling. They are especially humbling when they come from your own children. I have a lot of lessons to learn.
The other day I was trying to be a disciplinarian and put my kids up to some work around the house. I try and do this daily, because seriously....picking up after them gets old quickly. Unfortunately I feel like I have turned into a bit of a nag with trying to keep my house in order. It just DRIVES me crazy when it is chaotic with "stuff" in here, especially when we have to be indoors with this harsh winter.
I was ordering them to clean up this, and clean up that (I was kind of on one.....a rampage that is). Alyssa finally just looked at me and said. "Mom why do always say.....I WANT IT PERFECT." I stopped for a moment caught off guard. My response "I do?" She then went on to remind me that I always say everything has to be "perfect". I honestly didn't even realize I always used this phrase.
My nine year old girl then looked at me and said....."Mom you know it doesn't matter if its perfect. We just try our best!" Ouch.....that one hurt. She is TOTALLY RIGHT! However at the time I was still on a rampage. My response....."Alyssa it has to be perfect because I say so....and perfect it will be! Get back to work." The completely WRONG thing to say.
Alyssa's comment hit me like a ton of bricks. Because I never want my kids to think "they are anything less by being their best." I want them to feel loved and appreciated just the way they are. I was feeling kind of bad about the whole situation. Every time I feel bad about a situation I decide I need to read something from LDS.org. I put a topic in the search engine....and boom I have like a million talks I can read. Most of the time after I read a talk I feel 100 percent better about myself. This is one of the reasons I love it so much.
This time however was a little different. I wasn't validated and realize I need to change.
1. I needed to apologize to my kids
2. I need to re focus and re group on the important things
I was reminded I need to re focus when I read a talk given on charity by Sister Bonnie Parkin. She talked about how charity and what true charity really is. She used the example in the New Testament of Martha and Mary when the Savior came to eat at dinner at their home. This is part of her talk.
On one occasion Martha was making dinner and, as the scripture says, “was cumbered about much serving.” 5 In other words, she was stressed out!
Mary, on the other hand, “sat at Jesus’ feet, and heard his word,” 6 while Martha became increasingly upset that no one was helping her. Does that sound familiar? Do you think she was thinking, “Why is Mary sitting there while I’m sweating over this stove?” So Martha turned to Jesus and said, “Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me.” 7
The Lord’s gentle invitation to Martha may have surprised her. “Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.” 8
The Savior’s response strikingly clarified what mattered most. On that evening in Martha’s home, the good part was not in the kitchen; it was at the Lord’s feet. Dinner could wait.
This story really was exactly what I needed to hear. I needed to be reminded of what really does matter, and what really is important. The kitchen, the dishes, the mismatched socks lying around the house, the legos everywhere. It just doesn't matter. My house shouldn't look or be anywhere near perfect. What matters is that I am loving and just being there for my little children.
I am always amazed at how my children teach me so much, and also teachings from scriptures. Thank goodness for both.
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